Language Can Cage Us or Free Us
I had a recent breakup with social media. More aptly put, I took a personal detox from social media for a couple of weeks.
It’s true what I’ve mentioned before, that I do see a lot of people providing answers – solutions – problems – diagnoses – which I think can be really challenging and overwhelming for many people to sort through right now; but that’s not inherently bad.
Any form of media does provide us with an opportunity to step into our own authority both with 1. the quantity of advice we allow to stream our way, and with 2. the content we affirm by accepting it as true.
BUT. No, that’s not the only reason for my recent breakup.
The bigger reason was because I wasn’t feeling well and happy in general, and I needed to create space to listen in order to find out why.
⋙ Because the answers aren’t out there – they’re in us most of the time. ⋘
What did I find?
Well, I will say that what I found surprised me:
In retrospect, I can see I’ve been managing an unhealthy emotional experience for quite some time – most similar to a smoldering ember of deceptively mild depression. That's the best word I can give it - it felt like I was mildly depressed, or consistently down.
Simultaneous to having some of the most present and productive phases of growth in my life, it feels like I’ve been running in a swimming pool instead of on the track.
And all of a sudden I looked up one day and noticed.
This surprised me because I thought I already gone to the bottom of that well, and resolved it before.
I had thought, “I am happy now.”
It surprised me because even though I review my beliefs CONSTANTLY, and help other people achieve freedom from pain, anxiousness, and down-spectrum feelings on a daily basis,
I couldn’t see that what I was experiencing recently wasn’t normal – and that it wasn’t okay.
It surprised me because I spent a decade coming through and out of a dark place that I was unwilling or unable to call depression until 2016, even though I was managing suicidal thoughts on a daily basis for years (a short story here) . {At the time, I literally thought everyone was dealing with the same.}
That's why recognizing and acknowledging my own experience back then was one of the hardest things I have ever done.
Doing so requires that we value our selves more than we value the comfort of keeping everything looking copacetic.
And when I finally did, and soon after achieved a whole new level of comfort and stability...
Again I thought, “I did it.”
And THAT is why my world was so rocked recently (rather my little ego was rocked and a little baffled) when I realized that I wasn’t AS okay as I want to be lately.
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Here’s the thing.
I don’t find it hard at all to share this recent struggle with you. With awareness, it has turned around very quickly.
It's not that I have a hard time saying it. But I did have a really hard time seeing it.
And that is what I want look at with you today.
I think that's because of the words I've told myself ever since - because of the story I accepted about being healthy and labeling something "done".
Language can cage us, or it can free us.
➙ When we say we’re okay and we’re not, we create argument in ourselves. And we show ourselves that we are not worth advocating for, which reinforces and prolongs our suffering.
➙ Conversely, when we say out loud, "Um, excuse me - this isn't normal, and it deserves attention!" the boat almost begins to right on its own... This is so much the experience I had recently.
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Our experiences are all relative. And that’s what I want to affirm for you today.
What are you enduring that needs your attention? How long do you want to suffer? Are you living the life you really want?
Maybe you are! Maybe you aren’t! I don't know which camp you're in.
I’m just asking because if we say we care, we must ask each other – and ourselves these questions!
Nothing about you is broken, but does something need to be healed?
If it feels like I’m reading your mind or tapping your phones, I’m not :) It’s just that these experiences follow patterns, and no one's particulars are as unusual as we might be tempted to believe they are.
Schedule Strategy Call or session with me if you’re ready to break a pattern. I can help you.
Pictured: the author/owner, Mandy Barbee