Social Anxiety Treatment
Guest Author: Leah Wyatt
I’ve experienced the discomforts of social anxiety* throughout my life. Who hasn’t? Very few people are impervious to social anxiety. Social situations can feel very stressful!
Here’s an embarrassing anecdote from my past: as a teenager, speaking to strangers on the phone used to give me so much social anxiety that I would write out a script for myself to follow prior to making really basic calls.
We all have our different coping strategies, some of which can be unhealthy. Alcohol is a big one for many-I personally have leaned on having a couple drinks in social situations to “loosen me up.”
I’m also guilty of clinging to the side of a friend or husband during group events. Others may feel so anxious that they avoid social situations completely, which lessens anxiety immediately but reinforces avoidance as a pattern.
While my social anxiety has diminished over the years, there are some strategies for social anxiety treatment that have helped me (not counting the less ideal: a glass of wine, velcroing myself to my husband, or writing down talking points before making calls).
Control your breathing to tame your anxious feelings: breathing too quickly can throw off the oxygen/carbon dioxide balance in our bodies, increasing anxious sensations. Breathing slowly, deeply and evenly can bring anxiety symptoms back under control. I try to practice deep, even breathing during moments of idle time which has helped me readily recall the habit when I’m feeling stressed.
Shift your focus to others: Excessive self focus makes us more aware of our nervous feelings, worsening our anxiety, and shifting my attention to others has been a really helpful strategy for me. In social situations, take a minute to look around and imagine how others nearby might be feeling. Ask lots of questions (have a list ready in your head if that helps). Focus closely on listening to and absorbing what is being said.
Identify/challenge the underlying negative thought: If you are worried about a party, that thought might be “everyone will think I’m awkward and boring.” But, thoughts aren’t real! Why do you feel the way that you do? Did a specific but isolated incident in the past inform this thought? A negative childhood experience?
Our brains like adhering to patterns, and it's helpful to be aware of damaging thought patterns that may be enhancing your anxiety:
Mind reading: assuming you know the thoughts of others when in fact, you are not a mind reader and cannot predict how people will think.
Personalizing: believing that other people’s issues and behaviors have to do with you. Possibly, the person who walked away quickly was stressed about something else and not reacting to you personally.
Fortune telling: predicting the future, and usually assuming that the worst case scenario. The party you are worried about might not actually be terrible.
Catastrophizing: Blowing matters out of proportion. If someone notices that you are nervous, is that truly such a terrible thing?
General lifestyle changes can also help provide social anxiety treatment. These tips are predictable, but effective: exercise regularly, avoid caffeine and alcohol, and try to get enough sleep.
Pictured: the owner, Mandy Barbee
*For the purposes of this post, we are discussing general social anxiety. Those who may be experiencing Social Anxiety Disorder, which heavily interferes with daily life, should seek help from a licensed professional.