Meditation for Anxiety: An Experiment

Guest author: Leah Wyatt

After reading Mandy’s post, and doing research for my own post on meditation for anxiety, I was feeling inspired to dive into meditation practice. I’ve always been somewhat of an anxious person, and I’m now a mom of three kids ages four and under, including a set of twins. Parenting multiple small children has heightened my daily stress and anxiety levels in many ways. I also struggle with living in the moment: I tend to rush through activities looking forward to the next task. I’m highly achievement and task oriented and sometimes view my day as a list of things to accomplish, rather than absorbing things as they come, which I know can steal the joy from daily life.

As a parent, I want to be present with my children, and I want to take the best emotional care of myself possible, so I can better care for my kids. 

Could regular meditation for anxiety help me address these concerns, and help me be a more present parent? 

I practice yoga regularly, so am familiar with breathwork, and had taken stabs at meditation here and there, but had never committed to a daily practice. I decided I would meditate daily, following the rough steps outlined here, and would keep a journal reflecting on the process and its effects on my emotional well being.

Day 1: Yoga Class

Since I’m chronically early by nature and also possessive of my preferred classroom spot, I regularly end up with a good five minutes to kill prior to the start of yoga class. I figured this would be a great time to start meditating. I assumed savasana on my mat and regulated my breathing. When thoughts intruded, I tried to label them “thought” and let them pass through and out of my mind. My first stab at meditating went fine-- there were some distractions as other students entered the classroom and unrolled their mats, and my thoughts definitely wandered, but I kept at it for a good five minutes. When class started, I felt calm and ready to focus on yoga, and when my mind started spinning a couple times during class, I was able to return to my breath.

Day 2: Parenting Stress

My anxiety level was pretty high on day 2, due to various mundane but stressful child related issues. While the kiddos were in school during the morning, I took some time to sit on my bed and meditate. As during yesterday’s attempt, thoughts came and went, but when I got antsy enough to check the time, about twelve minutes had passed (I was thinking that maybe five or so had gone by, so this felt good). I felt noticeably calmer after meditating today, which was wonderful and very welcome.

Day 3: Early Morning Mental Churn

I woke up at about 5am and my mind immediately started ping-ponging (this is not uncommon for me). This morning, when it became clear that falling back to sleep wasn’t happening, I decided to meditate (instead of grabbing my phone and scrolling through social media per usual).  I lay in bed and meditated for a solid fifteen minutes. This session felt more natural, and my mind felt a bit quieter. The morning’s chaos elevated my stress level pretty quickly afterwards, but, while waiting on some car repairs later in the day, I opted to do some deep breathing rather than stare at my phone, which felt like progress.

Day 4: Meditation MIA

Life got in the way today, and I forgot to meditate. Instead of berating myself, I told myself I was letting it go and would resume again tomorrow. Stuff happens!

Day 5: Back At It

Different morning, same mental churn upon waking up. I immediately began meditating before my thoughts could completely take over, and despite yesterday’s slip, meditation practice felt fairly effortless. I began the day feeling calm and centered, and was able to weather cranky kids, traffic, and other morning bummers without reacting in an overly negative way. 

Day 6/7/Beyond: In the Zone!

After about a week of practicing meditation for anxiety, I’ve settled into a rhythm that feels like it’s working really well: 10-15 minutes of meditation first thing upon waking. While I haven’t noticed a massive difference in my mental health, several positive changes have cemented my commitment to a regular meditation practice. Mornings, which in my house are typically chaotic and leave me frazzled, have felt calmer, because I’ve felt calmer and able to experience events without reacting to them. 

Since beginning to meditate regularly, staying in the moment seems a little easier. And when I feel my mind starting to spin, I’ve been able to focus on my breathing, which helps reduce anxious feelings’ intensity. I’ve also benefited from the journaling piece to this endeavor: writing about my experience with meditation has helped me realize and more fully enjoy it’s benefits, because I’ve taken the time for deeper reflection on what has worked and what hasn’t. Journaling also kept me accountable and more committed to meditating regularly.   

If meditating seems intimidating, I recommend diving in anyway, even if you only spend a few minutes a day practicing.  Stick with it and you may find yourself feeling calmer and less anxious, a well as more in touch with your feelings and how to sit with and learn from them. 

Author: Leah Wyatt