Episode 42: Self Belief Declines to Buy into Contingencies

Synopsis

Today's episode is about being pulled in a direction that “appears” to be imprudent, despite well meaning advice to ignore our inner voice. What do we make of this fork in the road?

I believe that putting our faith in "contingency" is the same as trusting in lack. Limitation often masquerades as prudence.

For me, aside from feeling a deep longing to create Calm, Confident & Deliriously Happy, there was an equally deep knowing that the opportunity was to BREAK myself of contingencies.

I didn’t know if it was possible to break myself of such attachment (and ultimately fear) at the time, but I recognized the calling to try all the same... thanks for joining me on Oahu's eastern shore for this episode.

Show Notes

I'm recording on a walk through the eastern shore right now and it is actually drizzling. It's quite breezy, check the sound quality. But.. it just seems too beautiful not to try to capture some of these natural ocean sounds as I share thoughts for today's episode.

So excited to be here. What I was thinking about the other day, that I want to focus on right now, is my own experience when I started the podcast. It was a memory that came to light as I considered how often it is and how easy it is sometimes for us to think that anything we want, anything we plan, our goals that we create… for something to happen, something else is going to have to happen first... contingencies, right?

I'll give you an example and why I thought of this - it’s a personal example.

A couple years ago, when I was first starting to realize that I wanted to create a podcast, this podcast, before I even knew the name of this podcast. I was having cash flow issues at the time, and as an entrepreneur, or a business owner of any kind, this is something that could be relatable (everybody has cashflow issues at some point or other). It can make you confront what fears remain in yourself about the eventual, the inevitability of the eventual success because no one can stop you from moving forward and continuing to try and persevering but yourself.

And at that time, even when confronting those challenges, which were not minor by my own experience, they didn't feel small, I was also spending a lot of time planning, envisioning and creating this podcast. Despite the intense stress that I was feeling and that can actually accompany that type of challenge, what I wasn't stressed about was creating this show. What I wasn't stressed about is whether or not I would launch this show called Calm, Confident and Deliriously Happy.

I knew that this experience needed to happen. I knew that I wanted to bring this into the world. It was from a pure place even against my comfort (running counter to my comfort at the time).

As you can probably imagine, I knew I needed to come into being now or back then, not later, someday, eventually, when it all got figured out, when the money stuff got figured out... I was focused on doing both at once.. and at that time someone who I trusted a great deal advised me that it didn't make sense.

They said, “But Mandy, that isn't going to make you the money today that you need to solve this ‘problem’ that you're facing,” (because I had of course shared what I was experiencing openly and was problem solving with how to rectify it). They said, “You should generate cash first”.

Now keep in mind, I had clarity about putting resources, time, energy, even money toward the space that we now know as Calm, Confident and Deliriously Happy. But that clarity didn't change the fear that I felt.

Maybe you wondered because I did looking back if I was sure, if I was sure in my actions and what needed to happen what would be best to happen going forward... then why did I feel the fear? This is where some wisdom came through for me in this reflection.

I can see you looking backward that the fear itself was mostly a result of being pulled in a direction that appeared to be imprudent… A direction that made those closest to me, even someone who I paid for their advice question what I was doing… And even more I can see speaking this out loud now, going against guidance that you're paying for. It all seems imprudent.

So many strong influences that can make us question even what we know to be true sometimes… the best path forward.

This person had accumulated themselves great wealth. They would be a person who knew the way. But the thing is everyone's path is different. And what's interesting is this person, through the conversation, seemed to lack a belief in me that I could do two things at once.

When we look at this type of advice, even well meaning advice, from sharp witted, smart people, is a belief in limitation… disbelief in contingency.

This trust in lack. Aside from the feeling of knowing, or longing to create a podcast at that time, despite all the circumstances that I was navigating and managing, there was an equally deep knowing that the opportunity that I was looking at could be to break myself of these attachments to contingencies. Break myself of believe in such lack.

I didn't know if it was possible at the time to break myself of fears like these. But I recognized there was a calling to try all the same.

Limitation often masquerades as prudence. This is what I learned through this experience. Does any part of you believe that you need to store up wealth? Or do something else, achieve some other smaller, minor part of the goal in order to have the end goal achieved? Does any part of you believe you need to accumulate wealth and store up in order to create something from the heart? Can you think of any places in your own experience where you can find scarcity, skulking about in your playbook or your game day strategy? Journeyer, game day is today. Game day is now.

Let us take up a shared intention to say what needs to be said without delay. Express our gifts now. Live out our values in every way that's available to us. Find ways, find any path to trust ourselves more deeply. And also as a bonus, surround ourselves with people who can support that level of belief.

I hope that this has been useful to you and that you can find some way to apply it in your life right now. I would love to hear if you can. I would love to connect with you.