Episode 38: Take Control of Your Experience (feat. the Sacred Neutral)
Synopsis
The way I see the world is in systems. Natural systems in this universe are not about high or low, right or wrong, but about equilibrium. Equilibrium rules. This is the most basic explanation for why everything we experience dualistically is in tension, and the truth behind everything experienced - the essence of it - is always going to be non-dual. Another way of describing an interaction with this reality, or a relationship with what truly IS, is Sacred Neutrality.
Everything we do is co-created. When attachment to the story falls away, we can experience actual freedom of choice, and operate from a place of real desire. When you can see that, you’re in the seat of empowerment because you can actually do something about what's going on.
Show Notes
Today, I am excited to share a subject with you that I know as Sacred Neutrality. And I want to share that within the context of conversation that I had with a very dear friend some time ago. Without giving you too many aspects of this person, I can just let you know that he was a psychologist in a prior life and a licensed counselor. He had just been going through something very difficult as in his wife had left him. She actually cheated on him. She left him to deal with both of their children. So at this point, he became sole provider for their children.
And we were talking about this subject, sacred neutrality, I mean it was at a dinner table. It wasn't in the context of solving a problem, but I knew that he and I shared an understanding- the essence of all things, of all matter of all things, inherently is meaningless. Now not worthless, but meaningless.
This is because all meaning is actually assigned by us, humans with cognition.
Meaning “making machines” - the subconscious minds that are always filling in the gaps in trying to create patterns and establish context, so we can store and record and understand our experience and navigate in our lives with ease.
And because he and I, I think that's the most critical pieces, because he understands that and deeply accepts that, intellectually, as well as in his knowing, he was struggling, I would say.
And I pause just because I want to be fair- I mean was he really struggling? I think in this moment where our conversation reached very suddenly in a side bar at a big dinner with a bunch of people where we are having so much fun, but it was a curiosity - kind of like a burning question and he wasn't necessarily looking for me to answer it but he posed it because he thought maybe I could answer it because he knew that I share the same understanding of how things are working… and the Sacred Neutrality of it all.
Because of the shared context, I think the question was, “If nothing matters then how do you make decisions?” And I knew what he was asking... even though the words were very few.
Because of this shared context he asked me, if nothing matters, how do you make decisions?
I knew what he was asking, even though the words were few.
He was wondering how do you not care when your wife leaves you?
And also, he was trying to process his own feelings - and wondering how to even justify them against the intellectual understanding of their inherent meaninglessness and neutrality?
Why do we do anything? If nothing matters, what difference does any of it make.
My answer is this:
The meaning is in the intention.
The meaning is found in the surrender.
When attachment to the story falls away, we can experience actual freedom of choice: and operate from a place of real desire. This is the space that my teacher refers to as the space of pure creation.
Real desire requires responsibility. It isn’t easy at all.
He already does this naturally – he is an extremely special person in this respect. It was something I observed about him within minutes of meeting him. The level of self awareness and self direction. It’s a precious gift to hold.
And even so, the conversation took a turn.
I implored him gently, Do you realize that the reason you’re upset is because of how you participated in your own pain? What tiny part of you co-created what you experienced? What subtle disconnection allowed it, missed it, overlooked it, was blind to it?
When you can see that, you’re in the seat of empowerment because you can actually do something about it, and with that level of responsibility you’ll likely never allow that pattern to repeat.
But if we do not scoop up that part of US that participated and nurture it into alignment and harmony with the rest of us, the pattern will repeat again some time in the future.
He took out his iPhone and said, hold on, I want to write that down.
You can imagine I was glowing, I was so proud to be able to help him.
The moment a person sees this mechanism, they can’t repeat the pattern if they try. Why would you?
I don’t believe in a low road and a high road. I believe all systems return to equilibrium.
And still, all around us you can probably see things that you would change. Things that need improvement. Important things – things, situations, people, causes that matter to you.
Spending our time in judgment of others is as complete a waste of time as avoidance is - partially because Judgment is impotent. but also because of the nature of objective reality, and what judgment IS, and the fact that it doesn’t exist separate, but within this shared system.
When faced with conflicts – inner or external – an important need you might have is to be of USE, and to act out your VALUES.
Witnessing, Speaking Truth, Taking Action from a space of pure intention and pure creation are ways you can express your values without fueling parasitic forces feeding off of polarized situations, and without participating in the tempting lie of duality, that distorts and spoils everything good.
Here’s to holding a powerful frequency of Peace even if there's strife. To be successful in this, it is often necessary to master the practice within ourselves first.