Episode 34: Accepted but Not Acceptable

Synopsis

How often do you make allowances for the little nicks and pains that only you know about? That only you know you struggle with? Do you think this is the type of self-sacrifice that helps others out or does more harm than good?

Seeing hundreds of people struggle with this exact same choice pattern, I'm convicted that it's a lack of awareness that true comprehensive solutions exist. This episode dives deep into the exact how and why intangible inner problems can and should be resourced: with priority and speed...

Show Notes

Welcome back journeyer. This is episode 34 of calm, confident and deliriously happy. I thought it would be great today to be very direct and focused in a kind of a refocusing on what I actually do in the world, who I help and how I help just the transfer of this information in and of itself I believe is life saving, has the potential to save lives because the alternatives are bleak.

When there are not solutions to problems that are already hard to put our fingers on and sometimes laden with any form of shame, it's extremely difficult in a state of pain or difficulty to find a solution. So I'm hoping that whether or not you have experienced some of the things I'm gonna lead off with if you know someone who does, this information will empower you to encourage them in a very true and real significant way that options are available and exactly why and how that is and where the hope should be coming from because of the very nature of the problem itself in the very mechanism of the problem itself is impossible that solution does not exist.

I'm going to unveil or uncover for you exactly my perspective on that. And my hope is that this sharing will help us connect more deeply, you're going to get inside my psychology a little bit more, share a little bit more of what's behind the curtains in my business, so to speak, how I help and how that may impact others around you.

So enough of the framing,  I thought that I would lead off with some experiences that I've had and if you've been following along. let's give some concrete examples of what people experience is difficult. Some concrete experiences around the difficulty. I think I mentioned but I'm not sure I completed my brainstorming around my thoughts drifted t, “oh yeah remember Mandy, that the opposite of the words calm confident and happy are actually the exact experiences that I help people with? and you may know this are I'm are you may not but I only figured that out months after I'd already named the show because the title was inspired and it dropped in an aspirational way the title just makes me feel great and so it's a very happy coincidence that those opposing experiences of anxiousness, unhealthy self perception, or fears or lack of confidence.

And lastly depression or disconnection down spectrum emotions - these are the exact areas of expertise and focus where I have the deepest experience in my practice, helping people make significant profound lasting changes in a really short period of time naturally.

So I find that no matter how many times I feel like I've said these types of things, I can never say them enough because it's almost impossible sometimes for us to conceive that problems like these can literally be released and resolved. So I want to be a beacon of hope and hope for good reason because the science behind all of this and and share that with you now. So for a tiny bit of context maybe some of these relate. maybe you can connect with some of them yourself for you know that someone else suffers with the same but let's make it personal.

You probably know if you listened to episode one my experience has been a whole smattering of a lot of negative things in the mental health space in the past and so much of this has been completely put to bed but there's a long life in the more that we kill, the more that we uncover additional layers but for the most part these are not present anymore.

I'll be tender about sharing them with you but I share them mostly so we can relate. If there's a point of connection here to be had, I definitely had recursive thoughts about just punching out of this experience. Not being here anymore.

That was a very real-lived daily experience for me. And I think the saddest part about it if you haven't listened to episode one or just to remind us is the way that I've minimized experience in actually. The way that I misunderstood that everyone feels that way like all the time this is just a first world problem. Just wow. The impact of that to this day-  it still feels abstract like I don't fully understand the gravity of that. It's a pretty dark place to be. Constant background anxiety again when it's just constant and you're managing it so well, it's hard to think that it's not just normal.

It definitely could relate to shame at having or perceiving every reason in the world to be happy. No evidence on the exterior that there should be a problem and recognizing that I had “absolutely nothing to complain about.”

But knowing that I was lacking contentment, enjoyment, which I now know comes almost exclusively from living in a purpose and living with my purpose. The last thing that comes to mind as I was preparing to have this conversation with you and just reflecting on the past was, there are occasions where I knew that I had just as much talent or heart or capability, good intention in as anyone around me but never being able to feel it. To really feel it.

These experiences while examples while personal examples I know that there are so many more. So many other types of negative experiences that fall under the umbrellas of anxiety, disconnection or depression in a poor self image that's misaligned with reality. These experiences are accepted. But they are not acceptable.

They're chronically accepted but I don't think they're acceptable. Do these sound familiar to you or anyone that you know? These are symptoms that we are not in purpose. Or that there's a conditioning that needs to break. Not some day - now.

Because of my vantage today and the deep dive that I've done in these topics and around healing specifically responding to the need in this area, I see healing as simple. But that doesn't mean it's easy in today's world.

And why is that? If you ask me… it's because of the information that we find when we attempt to locate solutions or rather the lack thereof but the misinformation that we find leading us to believe sometimes that this is normal. Everyone experiences it. Nothing can change. Again, I just wish we were having a conversation right now face to face. I want to ask you, “Is this relatable? There is one reason why the person who's having the experiences that I described a few moments ago, the laundry list that I gave you is one reason why nothing you’ve tried yet has resolved, has worked.

To resolve the unconscious emotional automatic issues that I described, plus some, there's one recent. Do you know why? Because anything happening automatically in our experience is run by our unconscious. And 99 percent of “solutions” are using conscious processes to attempt to address or shift or move or touch. It's impossible on conscious issues. Bringing awareness, raising consciousness is what's needed.

But what's the catch? What makes it work? One issue is that the issue or the problem in the unconscious is actually being protected by your own unconscious. We want to manage these things at a survival level. It helps keep us online to other things that need our attention. The subconscious or the unconscious is literally like spinning plates in the background. It's like “go ahead. give me another I'll keep spinning on.”

There's instinctual protective mechanisms going on- that's the bottom line.

Using conscious techniques to resolve feeling problems doesn't work. And how many use these words interchangeably? Feeling problems, emotional problems, automatic problems, unconscious problems. If it's happening automatically it's being directed by your unconscious and the motion is the mechanism of unconscious actions. 

So I just say that part again because I think it's so important using conscious techniques to resolve feeling problems doesn't work. Let me ask you this. Have you ever tried to talk someone out of being sad or scared? How well did that work? What about trying to reason with that with a toddler who's drawing a temper tantrum? Does that work? I don't know, right? Not usually. Our conscious minds don't help.

Until a certain level of awareness and consciousness is already established and there's a certain amount of clearing to the unconscious programing and conditioning, especially when we're talking trauma (which it's in almost all cases a part of the equation), we have to reset the fire alarm.

This is done in very practical, tangible, repeatable, reliable steps. This isn't difficult. 

It's not mystical or uncertain in any way.  It's very simple with the right tools and actions and partnerships ultimately because it's a collaboration.

We need to speak to and connect with unconscious problems in the language of the unconscious to resolve these types of issues that I described. Is that making sense?

Real healing is a return to a state of wholeness. This is kind of like the punch line. Real healing is a return to a state of wholeness. It implies a complete release and resolution of an issue.

It's so important that folks who are struggling understand that we share the word, this is possible. It can be created with dependability. It is guaranteed with a certain approach. 

The simple definition of healing that I found, because I always remind myself of this, is the process of making or becoming sound or healthy again. Again- again being the operative word that's the whole point the root of the word.  Health is the same as the root of the word whole. Healing in itself is a process of restoration of health from an unbalanced diseased or damaged state.

This reminds me of episode 8 at bit.ly/cicadao008. I talked about my dad's literal work in disaster restoration and the similarities that it has with what I do with people.

I know that when we think of health, it's often the physical body that comes to mind. 

But I wonder if it's true in your experience, too, that more common than physical disorders are mental state of disorder. Is this relatable? What do you see around you? 

The quickest path to completing permanent resolution of these core inner problems, these emotional, inner automatic unconscious problems is by direct access of the problem or the issue in its unconscious residents in your awareness.

To do that, we’ve got to use the language of the subconscious to problem solve via your natural non ordinary states of consciousness.

That's how you get access to that information and touch it and shift it. This is how we use the mechanism of the problem to resolve the issue fully. That's what makes it so natural. What's the word I'm looking for? It's almost like it couldn't fail to happen because this is the way the problem is happening already. We just automate something new. We re-automate health.

All right, journeyer. I want to wrap this up here in a moment. Let's take a huge breath together right now. And I'll share a couple of mental or inspirational prompts that might help you kick up some dust around anything that's going on in your experience today. Take a nice deep breath. Hold it. Wonderful. You can take another one while I speak if you’d like. Nice and deep.

The prompt that I leave you with this. How do we contribute to our personal struggle, and how are you creating your liberation from that struggle? How are we contributing to our own struggle? And how are we creating our own liberation intentionally and consciously? I want to offer you a reminder: something that I think about all the time. 

How much having a peaceful life is actually very simple? It's the result of making peaceful choices day to day. Of choosing peace when facing 2 options. The places and times and ways that we carve out exceptions to choosing peace are what erode our own peaceful experience.

So when things seem complicated, find someone who allows the possibility of them being simple to enter the picture. That makes sense. You hoo- I am right here. If you feel called to have a conversation with me about supporting your goals, growth, evolution or timeline, apply for a console via my site so that it will lead you to a booking link where you can access my calendar and we can connect. You can use the first black button all the way down on the home page at wwwpalladiummind.com or go to the “work together tab” and see the black buttons there that lead to that connection form.

I am sending you huge love from an open heart today. And until our paths cross next, take good care of yourself.