Bookends and Cornerstones: Reviewing Our Values

Have you ever tried to use just one bookend?

I have this really cool set of bookends made of a heavy composite, shaped like the head and shoulders of matching lions.

I love these bookends so much. When I was in my 20’s, I frequently wanted them to grace multiple various aspects of the small apartments I occupied alone… so sometimes I would try to separate them.

I was marginally successful at times with make-shifting a second bookend out of thick books themselves - stacked on their sides, or I could of course terminate a line of books against a wall.

But no matter how I attempted, without some form of a second bookend to hold everything up, a freestanding row of books will always eventually fall down.

I feel like until May 31st this year, my personal and professional values were a shelf of books with a single bookend...

· My professional Instagram handle still stands as ‘Radical Acceptance’.

· Our Facebook Business Page banner says ‘Compassion is Power’ in bold letters.

· The first of four core values of my company is ‘Nonjudgment’.

There’s certainly congruence – and I was ACTING in complete alignment with my stated values.

But something was missing.

Although I dove into this a bit last week, I thought it might be useful to unpack it further, because I know first hand that many of you are struggling with the same realization, and how to process it.

The fact is this:

Leaning completely into compassion, acceptance, and nonjudgment while failing to take a moral stand for anyone who is exploited, disenfranchised, oppressed, abused, or persecuted is not a spiritual high ground – it’s harm. There's a term for it too, it's called spiritual bypassing (coined by John Welwood, this article gives interesting second-hand learning by one of his students).

Because if one bookend is Massive Compassion, the other must be Massive Action. Together these make Justice.

This is the hand drawing that Darryl gave to me.

How did I come to miss this?! Easy. And I'll make it quick:

My story was characterized by extreme criticism, structure, and rigidity (culminating painfully during 10 years spent serving in the US military). Maybe yours was too?
I believed the device of harm to be right/wrong thinking and judgment (which I wrongfully equated with blame).
In my 20’s around the time when I was trying to stretch 2 matching lion bookends across a one-bedroom apartment, I dove headlong into first Objectivism, then zen philosophy- into flow states of being, then yoga- into Buddhism and stoicism and on...
When I learned that the cause of suffering is “craving and desire” (trishna), I spent YEARS (I am not exaggerating – daily and hourly practice for YEARS) perfecting the self-discipline of detachment and nonjudgment.
At the same time, I had ‘stumbled upon’ zero modern day activitsts who weren’t also demonizing the “other side”, calling for blood. This was triggering for someone like me who had allowed or been the recipient of extreme criticism for many years. Maybe it is for you too?
Every ‘political’ discussion I saw on social media, or in mainstream media, seemed to want me to choose a side, point a finger, lay blame. And I didn’t see change happening like that. In fact, I felt that would hurt people more than it would help. So I practiced neutrality.

Until May 31st 2020.

Asking myself why I didn’t see it sooner isn’t helpful.

But the fact is, it’s clear as day now:

Staying neutral in the face of injustice is making us sick. Individually and societally.

I’m not telling you this to share judgment or to say “should” –

so if you’re hearing any of that already, it’s a perfect chance to look within yourself and examine what and how you might be inferring something that isn’t being said.

I help people all over the world resolve core issues of anxiousness, depression, and disconnection. I help people enjoy happiness, fulfillment, and inner peace in the quickest, most precise and efficient way known!

So I’m sharing it because my mind has been BLOWN in the realization that in this blind spot in my own understanding and stated philosophies, is an opportunity for self-healing that is SO GREAT.

Indecision in the face of a true question of morality eats you from the inside out.

It is a direct cause of these experiences of anxiety, depression and disconnection that I help people heal.

Indecision speaks to and allows a lack of resolution in our inner worlds and our outer worlds, or between two inner experiences.

Therefore, the more of these gray spaces you dwell in without DECIDING where you stand on a matter, the more your residual pain and suffering will be. The more your light will dim. The more your energy is already waning as a result of living in the middle ground.

It is at your OWN personal expense if you stand in indecision about whether and what action to take in the face of new information.

And that is why I’ve shared so deeply around this topic today.

If you’re finding it difficult to move forward in the way that YOU deem right – please remember that hesitation, doubt, and fear all come from wounding.

And when healing happens – i.e., when your self esteem is reinforced and renewed to its original and untarnished state, you will be the source of good that you yearn to be in the world.

I help people do just that every day.

There are now 5 ways to receive value and care from my company:

(I’d be honored for you to share these with loved ones who could benefit from healing services)

· My email list: I pour love into it, and it’s free. New folks can opt in here

· Self Study (digital products on the site)

· *NEW* More than Meditation™: Group healing session is live TODAY! See below (massively transformational experience, accessible price)

· Palladium Accord: Transformational & Healing Women’s Community (minimum 6 months)

· 1:1 work with Mandy (individual engagements bookable on the site, and Strategy Call available for exploring 3- and 6-month journeys together)

Which appeals most to you? Comment below and tell me!

Details about More than Meditation™

Found at this link, under “Group & Community Offerings”.

Virtual, private group experience (no video, interaction, or identification to the group needed) provides real TRANSFORMATION to an emotional issue, with a price that is accessible. This session has been exclusive to 1:1 program clients until now. No commitment required. No prior experience with meditation or hypnosis required.

Scheduled once per month, 3rd Thursday, 4:55pm PST

Requirements:

- quiet space, free of interruption

- hands free capability

- stable data connection

- beginners mind

- willing to feel feelings and experience growth (outside of comfort zone)

If you or someone you know would like to get a head start on the foundational tools of the workshop, they can use this link to download the instructions for accessing alpha brain wave state and join this community.

Looking forward.