Episode 21: Models for Profit, Models for Healing
Synopsis
If there’s no exit in a maze, it’s really just a cage. There is always this false fear when you’re in a maze, that you could actually be trapped in there forever. that’s what comes to mind when we talk about looking at problems - things we don’t want to stay stuck in forever: when we believe there’s no exit, or fear there’s no exit, it’s ceases to be fun. Is an exit strategy part of the discussions that you’re having with support around you when it comes to critical path issues of grave importance? I argue that it should be.
Show Notes
Last week I said: If there’s no exit in a maze, it’s really just a cage.
This thought came to me about 6 months ago, and stuck with me because it brings me back to the wooden paneled mazes for adults when I was a kid. I am one of five kids in my family, I have four sisters, and my parents were teens when I was born, so in the summers, we’d drive from north Ga down to Panama City Beach, and take an evening in those plywood and 2 by 4 mazes. There were so many of us we could split up and try different paths simultaneously. We would scatter down different aisles and eliminate dead ends one by one. I understood it’s an efficient strategy, and it was fun to be part of a team working toward something attainable.
There is always this false fear when you’re in a maze, that you could actually be trapped in there forever. Even though they’re not haunted, there’s an electricity, an urgency about every decision - about getting separated from each other, about being lost, about being stuck. It was thrilling and exciting but nerve wracking.
I guess that’s what comes to mind when we talk about looking at problems - things we don’t want to stay stuck in forever:
When we believe there’s no exit, or fear there’s no exit, it’s no longer fun - it’s a lot of things but not at all fun.
That story I shared last week is what happened to me,
I was vulnerable and susceptible to this situation, and it made me realize I don’t want this to happen to other people and I want people to be aware.
Recurring business makes a great funnel, but no one truly profits from not solving problems. And in fact, many people suffer.
The pervasive or acute, lifelong, challenging or painful inner experience that is eating you or your loved one’s lunch can end.
Problems can be solved. Is an exit strategy part of the discussions that you’re having with support around you when it comes to critical path issues of grave importance.
I’ve been told on occasion that “[healing / coaching / growth] is something that just keeps going and going and going… for the rest of your life. Oh, and here, buy my thing.”
Umm… what?!
Does that sound like freedom to you?
Not to me. To me it sounds like a conflict of interest. Conflict of Interest is a legal and ethical issue of the landscape that’s present in certain situations. It’s objective, not opinion. It’s a landscape described by a motivation that’s present when, for instance, the energy of money is exchanged.
And through the lens of motivation, it’s not confusing at all. I firmly believe in cases like these, like with the person I was working with - where there’s misunderstanding, or misalignment, there’s hardly if ever intent. But motive is something we can look at objectively.
And if you feel the same question mark when you hear someone place material limitations on what’s possible, I think it’s really healthy that your radar is going off. This is duality consciousness in motion.
When someone strains to convince us of what they have decided is not possible, check what motivation is intrinsic in the landscape of the interaction. Staying in integrity in those conversations requires us to address it openly. That’s how we maintain trust and the integrity of being in service to someone else as well as ourselves, not only to ourselves.
Related, but different,
You know what else I’m seeing lately? Some trends:
Healing as a pastime
Healing as a new club to join socially
Influencer business models of bringing attention around something – but no back-end plan for the heavy lifting to happen.
Without making a blanket value judgment, these trends do have other challenging aspects.
The possibility for information without implementation,
meme-induced scrolling without follow through, or worse,
only half the picture is ever delivered, & problem-awareness is where we stay.
When problems become more openly, widely, and frequently discussed, but remedy is always absent from the conversation – fear that a solution may not exist actually becomes more natural. This is the most dangerous part.
I can personally relate. At earlier times in my life: there were plenty of people willing to support me it seemed, but almost no one focused on, educating on, and committed to helping me resolve inner issues. When I was in the darkest of times, this created despair. I looked out at a sea of coping-only options and considered the question: “Is this really all there is?”
From my vantage, it’s also blatant disinformation.
Can we acknowledge you don’t have to be broken to heal –
That everyone has trauma –
That shame can and usually does hold people back from reaching for vital help –
That talking things through and talking problems out can be valuable –
And.
AND it’s possible to complete this cycle.
That’s my invitation to you. To see, hear, and understand this truth. To do whatever you need to do to release doubt otherwise. Because not doing so is keeping you stuck and making us sick.
Here’s the thing.
No one can guarantee results – because You are the one who makes the results. Your body does this naturally. Even though it’s true we can often be in true need of help, it’s really about applying the right tool to the readiness and desire within you.
But the modality needs to be capable (including a proven and reasonable mechanism for bringing change about), the strategy needs to be adequate (mutually decided between you and an expert), and the practitioner needs to be awake to the possibility and willing to take you all the way there
Did you know that it’s possible to extricate ourselves from chronic conditions or ruts of emotion?
My suspicion is that if you didn’t know it was possible, you probably aren’t expectant of others to support you in attaining that freedom. Or the very concept of freedom is limited.
What DO you expect from those who endeavor to support you?
Are they supporting you in staying put? Or are they supporting you in moving through and beyond the issue that brought you together in the first place? Is there a clear plan with a timeline?
I want to take this moment to suggest an intention:
Consider what contracts are we currently making in our lives? And which we are not making.
Although I help people release emotional issues permanently, I’m not the authority here. You are.
I help others unlock issues for themselves.
The attribute that is most sacred to me and I believe valuable to everyone in my life, is that I know this. And I’m willing to eat, sleep, and breathe in this space.
There are a billion roads to the other side. I offer one.
You’re a good person, and whatever you’re dealing with, you don’t have to carry it. You deserve to know.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Everyone in the world understands what it means to relax: they get it as a concept. But experiencing relaxation is something else entirely.
Funny as it seems: to want to relax, but to feel like you can’t.
And anyone who’s “tried” to relax but felt like they failed to enjoy it understands this.
Something I’ve realized a few years ago, is that one of the most core, important, and irreplaceable areas of expertise in my work, is to provide people the experience of, and ability of, Relaxation.
The weight of this was even lost on me for years until it wasn’t – because the importance, and significance of actually helping others relax, gets lost in the common language we all use, that usually describes a “trying-and-failing” experience of attempting to relax, and meeting difficulty, which then creates a downstream emotional effect anywhere from frustration, to despair.
We spend money on vacations with the hope of being able to relax; we do a lot of work and preparation to help us reach that elusive state. Inability to experience relaxation when we try destroys the possibility for enjoying anything.
Relaxation is an inner experience, not just an idea, not something we can retreat to find, and certainly not something we can buy – try as we may.
Begin to reconnect with this natural skill for free: link in bio, or via https://www.palladiummind.com/meditation