Episode 19: Behind the Scenes: Holograms & Flow States
Synopsis
There are worlds within worlds when it comes to any dialogue, journey, or experience that was meaningful - the first time we experienced it. There are layers of lessons in the creative process that lifetimes will not permit us to explore. But we do have control over where we direct our attention right now in this moment. Today we explore the creative process that yielded episode 0, A Drop In Time, and recognize it as holographic of states of flow and the power of imagery to help us connect.
The last third of our time today can be likened to a red carpet entrance / crossed with a permission slip to a sovereign AND conscious way of living.
Show Notes
Welcome to the show for anyone who might be connecting for the first time. Episode 19: new nine block of episodes begins today. You can access the show notes and share this episode with the quick link: bit.ly/cicada019
Have you ever recorded an important conversation real time in order to listen back to it later? Maybe it was a meeting, or interaction with someone, or something else.
If you have, you probably know that at any point when listening, it’s possible to recall exactly what you were thinking within the conversation. And there are worlds within worlds when it comes to any dialogue, journey, or experience that was meaningful the first time around. You can glean exponential value from these conversations when you experience it again with psychological distance - such as we’re talking about with relistening later, or such as taking a different mental perspective to an idea in retrospect, or such as using your own natural capability for imagery to see something differently. These are all ways you can collapse timelines for creating positive change.
Today I want to do this in a way about the original episode of this show. If you haven’t listened or shared episode 0 with anyone, I want you to go back and do that now before enjoying today’s show. Episode 0 is only 12 minutes, and today will be just as brief, so you might be able to do both. bit.ly/cicada000
I want to take you behind the scenes, to expose the making of episode 0. Because the discovery process itself had the effect of shifting my greater awareness in such significant and noticeable ways that it blew my mind. Although I constantly strive to create something beautiful here , sharing the process along with the product keeps us in alignment with the value of truth. The creative process can be excruciating. Let there be no mistake how messy it is. But it is also a hologram of our greater conversation together.
Also, conscious vulnerability IS the fabric of connection, and so, in all its quirkiness and extraness, you know like having an episode about an episode this early on, I was just like, let’s do this.
As the summer 2020 ended, I had just put on a virtual summit called Reignite the Spark: Fulfillment Starts Within, including about 20 professionals and entrepreneurs, and all we were focusing on was happiness nonjudgment and fulfillment. This is when I began to actually create Calm, Confident, & Deliriously Happy.
The work was inspired, but the progress grew slower and slower. I needed to settle on how this show would start. The first episode was significant. It sets the tone. But more than that: For me it was itself claiming space. I wanted episode 0 to define the space, and I felt it should answer the question in some way: “What is this journey about?” I wanted clarity about that question as much as anyone else would.
After a good month of “thinking about it”, read, “beating my head against the wall” wondering what was it going to be, and doing all of the other tasks associated with creating a podcast, sketching out episode 0 became the long pole in the tent. I had burned through all my slack time, and already blown the start date I had planned. I just needed to get on with it, and I knew that, but still there was a block. Even now I can feel the pressure of that time because I was not trusting my own process completely at the time, even though experience has shown me I ought to over and over and over again…
During one particularly tough session when I was down to the wire, a member of my support team, a coach and friend asked me, “Tell me about when you worked in Disaster Restoration with your dad, Mandy.”
Within moments of her asking that unlikely question, the story about that day at the gulf came to mind. It was the story I never shared on day 29 when I had hosted 29 days of Radical Acceptance in Feb of 2019. Immediately I knew that the day at the gulf was the only way to start Cicada, although I didn’t know why yet.
Over the coming days, as I dove down into what that story was for me, I went through many many layers of meaning, all important - and I kept thinking I had reached the bottom meaning. But I hadn’t yet, and getting there was not something I could control the timing of in the slightest..
Low hanging fruit is to notice was that day in the gulf when I was 12 going on 20, for sure - it’s a type of character sketch. Not only do you get to know me, but I also get to hold an archetype up for us to look at. Those I confided in all reflected the idea of self sacrifice back to me. But that didn’t feel quite true. What was the distinction? I wondered.
One thing the story spoke to me was a profound form of freedom:
Being clear on your values - what your “at all costs” values are - and living them out.
Knowing what you care about more than conserving breath through one body / simply staying alive.
Loving something so much you’re willing to pay for it.
But this also seemed kind of obvious too.
Again I was hitting a corner, because the obvious themed threat to life and limb wasn’t interesting to me, but I couldn’t see why.
More important than any of that, I began to realize, was that it was just a really really a beautiful human experience. Like, it was gorgeous. This is when I started to feel traction for the first time. That memory is so special to me. Like a time capsule. Like jumping into the sidewalk chalk. It feels that way because of the vividness of the imagery of the memory. Like the ocean of eternity was distilled into a single drop, and water and light was piercing every sense.
That’s when other information became clear: what makes this story special is its serenity, and the sense of safety I got to tap into. The whole scene was disconnected from everything, both physically and emotionally as it was experienced by me. I was alone with my decisions, with my thoughts, with my self, yet totally connected at the same time. Despite the overtone of urgency and danger, from the inside it was incredibly peaceful. In the face of danger, that we can know we are safe: this potentiality is liquid gold. This is flow state, although I didn’t come to understand that until late in my 20’s.
This story reminds/informs us the strength of beauty, and teaches/shows us the role imagery plays in accessing flow states, and in creating connection. What do I mean by this:
When I told you the story, your mind created a picture inside of it. It was YOUR beach - not mine. We were together immersed in THAT moment, just as well as I was in the moments when I was actually on the beach.
Imagery connects us to ourselves, and thereby to others. IMAGERY IS POWERFUL. And it’s just one aspect of NOSC (altered states of consciousness).
Once I could understand the significance of this story, I didn’t feel pleased so much as relieved. It felt like I could finally rest.
This didn’t feel like a victory, it felt like a minimum required level of understanding had been achieved. And once again I thought I had arrived.
Here’s where it gets interesting.
I started to fill in simple questions Apple likes to ask you, like,
“What can a listener expect to get from this show?”
“Write a description”
“What category should this be in?”
Simple questions once again proved difficult. And it made me feel funny, frustrated and confused. What is wrong with me? I thought. Turns out, nothing.
I asked myself again,
How IS this story the setup to the whole journey? And why?
What is the purpose of this show?
What are we here to do.
I realized - rather, remembered - with some help, healing truth:
We live in a very 2D, black and white, good bad, right wrong, what’s the ROI, defenses up kind of world.
Where pure expression and connection - even as art - feels out of place in so many contexts. Needs justification. Unless we’re getting a massive dopamine dump, or something tangible that we can keep or collect, or it serves some huge higher benevolent altruistic purpose - it is cast off, minimized, triaged.
People don’t give themselves permission to create or consume without there being a problem.
The question itself is wrong if you ask me. “What can a listener expect to get out of this show.”
I did my best to fill in the blanks, but I finally reached what I believe to be bottom that day:
We need to redefine the conversation here, and reclaim what has meaning, value what is precious, and prioritize what matters.
We are here to remind ourselves and others of what we know but forgot.
Our expectations are making us unhappy.
And we have too little hope when we should have plenty.
How is feeling like we can actually pinpoint, nail down the cause, so that we can spend our time chasing the solution actually losing not winning? How might these flirtations actually be creating the problem for us?
If we don’t realize the boxes we consent to be sorted into, where our own attention is being commoditized with our permission - and how - we’re complicit to the scam.
Ask a different question, get different answers. This is what waking up means.
You have the power to change it all. Every single moment is another chance to turn it all around.
That’s why I talk about transcendence being better than solving. By plugging into your own knowing, you can transcend the involuntary experiences weighing you down. This is not the same as bypassing. But though it is far from easy, there’s little that’s more simple.
Just by being together and talking and listening, we are staking a new claim for what is valued: from that of effect, to the value of existence. How else can you reprioritize the intangible, the beingness, above the outcomes.
Bringing what is unconscious or in the dark into the light is literally the key to unlock your experience from the inside - one easy way to do this is through the application of non-ordinary states of consciousness (aka flow states), or even through something as simple and unsexy as personal responsibility and truth telling!
My objective in this podcast is co-creation that transcends time and space. We’re in the river together. We’re on a journey. Right now. You are creating the life of your dreams right this moment. What are you dreaming about? We also want to clarify together where problems truly do exist - where our love and energy are deeply needed.
The moments where YOU draw lines create clarity in your life. These moments are the seeds of happiness or of pain. How can you take hold of the controls at your fingertips right now?
My belief and hope is that we don’t need external circumstances to randomly happen to dictate for us these moments, or for us to find out what we’re made of. And I think that’s incredible. You create the opportunity, through your awareness, and your conscious choices.
I hope this show has given you something beautiful to focus on in this moment, and, has enhanced this very moment of yours. Until the next time, take care.